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I Cannot Stand Being Loved, Just Used

Submitted by MasterVoyer on Fri, 09/18/2015 - 11:22

Note written by requiempoet on FetLife on 11/14/2009

I don't like all of this hub bub with love. I don't really 'love' anyone. Although I say it a lot, because it's the normal natural human reaction. Someone says ' I love you, you say it back.' If you don't say it you're rude and you probably will go to the crazy house.

I am used to being used. It might have something to do with the fact that I was molested when I was six, thirteen and eighteen...I can be in a relationship, (M/s mind you...) and have the words I love you uttered but having the know that I mean ' I care about you. I'll give you advice, but I don't experience butterflies'

My last relationship was basically me acting as a therapist. I am incapable of 'letting' myself fall in love. I'm comfortable and adjusted to being used. To being tossed out of bed and leaving to go elsewhere. I don't want to be hugged, nor do I want to be cuddled. I rarely want to kiss anyone...

I know...I'm in the minority...

Just cum on my face and leave me alone.


From the few things you have revealed here it is very understandable that you feel you are "incapable" of letting yourself fall in love. You probably feel that no one could possibly love you because of your history. Maybe you see D/s as a way of punishing yourself for what has happened to yourself. I don't know you or your history that well but I do know from being with other submissives who were abused and molested that there is that tendency and it takes a great deal of work and effort to turn that around. I would suggest seeking help because being loving and being loved are a normal and necessary part of being a healthy individual.

As mentioned before by n2 and TD, there are different kinds of love as well. And love rarely equates to "butterflies". You can feel them from time to time while in love but its not an indication of it. Love is an attraction. It has also been called the force that holds the Universe together (because if atoms, and the particles that make them up, were not attracted to each other there would be no world as we know it).

There are different kinds of love as well. The love of a parent to their children, husband and wife, people who have a common goal or reason to be together (though it is rarely referred to as love), there is love that is shared between friends and there is love we (should) have for our fellow man which helps us to grow and progress as a race, society and species.

Unfortunately, too many get hung-up on the love that comes when two people feel they are soul-mates and anything less than that is not love. As I have voiced here, there is much more to love than that one instance.

In the lifestyle there has always been the debate that a Master cannot love a slave. I do not agree with that at all. In fact it is love that distinguishes D/s from abuse. It is love that ensures that the Dominant has the submissive's best interests at heart rather than the opposite (which causes injury, both physical and mental) to a submissive when she surrenders herself.

As far as being "comfortable and adjusted" to being tossed out of bed and being used, can it be that you have come to expect nothing more from a partner (dominant or not)? I know if you beat a dog down long enough he will become "comfortable and adjusted" to being beaten. It's the same for a battered wife. I know as a submissive this kind of treatment can be a turn on as well, so the question I ask is this a "turn on" or is it something you have come to expect, because there is a difference between the two.

All I ask is that you think about why you feel that you are incapable of love.

"Just cum on my face and leave me alone" sounds like a punishment, do it then leave me to lick my wounds.

This is just my non-authoritative observation here.


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