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To Question Or Not To Question, That IS The Question

Submitted by MasterVoyer on Thu, 04/09/2015 - 14:02
 
A little while ago I was talking to a friend who is a submissive and she asked me a question. It was, "is asking a Dom a question an attack on his Dominance?"
 
She was asking in the context that she, personally, can submit easier if she knows the reason why she is being made to do something. I told her that the way I see things a submissive should be free to ask a Dominant anything as long as it was a valid question. That asking questions are not an attack on a Dom’s Dominance, but in actuality is a sigh of the opposite. It is an opportunity to exert one’s Dominance even more.
 
I see questioning as a tool for me, as a Dominant, to use to my advantage as well as to encourage a submissive to deeper submission.
 
How can a submissive asking a question help her to deepen her submission?
 
To begin with what is the reason for asking the question? I feel asking questions are necessary to enable one to gain more knowledge and to understand things better. Questions can also be used to ascertain how one can best accomplish a task or rule that has been assigned. It is a sign of sincerity and desire to do one's best. Two qualities a Dom should be encouraging in a submissive.
 
Another reason to encourage questions is that through questions & explanations a submissive is able to increase her level of understanding and trust in a Dominant. There is nothing that will undermine trust more than a lack of communication between a submissive and a Dominant. Also, as understanding and trust is built, the questions about "why" will become less and less as the submissive learns that the Dom does have their best interests at heart, and this in turn will help them to trust a Dominant’s judgment "without question".
 
One other reason that the Dom should solicit a submissive's thoughts/questions about the things he has her perform for him has to do with the matter of safety. The submissive does see things from a different perspective and this is especially true of the tasks that are assigned her. She may be aware of something that the Dominant has missed or is not aware of. She must be encouraged to voice these concerns so the Dominant can reconsider these things and re-evaluate the task.
 
In turn the Dominant should not feel re-evaluation of the task is a sign of weakness on his part or that it is a sign of letting a submissive top from the bottom. Re-evaluation (with good reason) does demonstrate that the Dominant has the submissive’s best interests at heart and this should always be the focus of the Dominant.
 
Through this communication the submissive will feel safer and will be more willing to trust and obey the Dominant's decision (whether to continue as planned, to continue with changes, or not to continue) based on being fully informed.
 
Of course there will be the times a Dominant will desire a submissive to do things "just because he said so". This is okay as well (after all, in D/s this is reason enough). Sometimes being blunt like this can be quite the turn on and will put a submissive in a submissive headspace faster than letting them come to this conclusion on their own. There IS something about having this told to them.
 
I feel the rule should not be "should a submissive question the Dominant", the rule should be "ALWAYS question the dominant."
 
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